難學的德文

哈,我沒有真的學過德文,所以要麻煩學過的同學朋友來指證一下囉。

今天逛到了這篇馬克吐溫(Mark Twain)所寫的《The Awful German Language》,雖然有點長,不過頗有意思。其中講到了很多德文不合理的地方,對於學德文的外國人是很大的障礙。我沒有學過德文,無從辨別其真偽,但且節錄如下,翻譯的不好請見諒。也許正在學德文的同學能對之會心一笑?

德文中有十種時態,每種都很煩人。德文報紙中平均一個句子會佔掉四分之一欄,而且不照順序地用到所有十個時態。作者下筆時會隨性製造出新的字彙,由六或七個單字組合而成,其中並沒有任何連接符(hyphen)。這個句子形容十四五樣東西,各自都應該用小括號包起來,然後再用三四個中括號,最後是一個國王級的大括號,之後才是動詞!這時讀者才終於知道這個句子究竟要表達甚麼。
舉例而言,這是從一本暢銷德文小說裡面取出來的句子。以下的逐字翻譯加上了連接符與括號,以便讀者能夠了解其句意。記住原文中並沒有這些連接符與括號,讀者必須掙扎地採過這些字母才能夠在句子的最後面找到動詞。

"But when he, upon the street, the (in-satin-and-silk-covered-now-very-unconstrained-after-the-newest-fashioned-dressed) government counselor's wife met," etc., etc.[1]

[1] Wenn er aber auf der Strasse der in Sammt und Seide gehüllten jetzt sehr ungenirt nach der neusten Mode gekleideten Regierungsräthin begegnet.

這個句子是從Mrs. Marlitt的The Old Mamselle's Secret擷取出來的。此句符合標準的德文文法,然而可以看見動詞距離句子的開頭有多麼遙遠。在德文的報紙中,動詞常會出現在隔壁頁;我甚至聽說,有時在這麼長串的形容詞綴語之後,趕著印刷的編者忘記放上動詞就交稿了。可想而知,讀者根本就一頭霧水。

德國人還有另外一種形式的括號,是把一個動詞分割成兩部份而成。頭半部放在段落的前頭,尾部卻放在句尾!天底下還有比這更令人困惑的事嗎?這種怪東西叫做可分割動詞(Separable verbs)。動詞的兩部份能夠分的越開,作者就越得意。其中一個很受歡迎的動詞是reiste ab,意為出發(departed)。以下是從一本小說中取的句子,譯為英文:

"The trunks being now ready, he DE- after kissing his mother and sisters, and once more pressing to his bosom his adored Gretchen, who, dressed in simple white muslin, with a single tuberose in the ample folds of her rich brown hair, had tottered feebly down the stairs, still pale from the terror and excitement of the past evening, but longing to lay her poor aching head yet once again upon the breast of him whom she loved more dearly than life itself, PARTED."

看來德文還不是普通的難學。德文之外,法文也遭受不少批評,大多是來自法國的死對頭英國。如同德文,法文的名詞也有陰性陽性,但沒有中性。對母語名詞沒有陰陽性的英美人來說,實在是件擾人的事,動詞詞尾的變化也是不少怨念的根源。在網路上找了一下,對於法文的抱怨似乎沒那麼容易找到,大多是對於法國民族性的批評,如:

Why is the Tour de France so popular with the French?
Because it's the only sport where you don't need balls.

難道英文就沒有人批評嗎?喔,當然是有的。不過作為強勢語言,受到的責難自然少了許多吧。況且對英文的不滿,相信大家都親身過了。文章本身的性質關係,恕這次無法為您翻譯,同樣來自幽默的馬克吐溫先生的一大經典《A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling》:
For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.

Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.

Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

二十一世紀是中國人的世紀,或著至少,講中文的市場大到令人不可忽視。相信不久之後,我們就可以看見歐美人士對於中文的怒吼了!

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